Are those people who lead monotonous lives boring? Is it always amazing, or ‘awesome’ to have something ‘happening’ going on in your life?
As I look forward to another weekend with nothing much to do apart from type furiously into my laptop, I wonder whether my 20’s shall be spent in solitude till one day my family gets annoyed of that existence and “marries me off”. Till then, how do I pass my time?
I decided to take the easy road – enroll for a course. Nah, one or two assignments were enough to make me realise that I value online courses more than the classroom stuff now. I am just not cut out for exams as they are boring and don’t pay. What else do I do?
I attended a couple of film screenings, went to parks alone, read books at a cafe. But I still got bored and started dwindling my thumbs. I may be moaning about a first world problem, but this is actually the case with many people of my generation today. Sometimes I wonder whether my friends got married out of pure boredom.
The point is – everything gets monotonous after a while. The job, the people, your partner, the house, the car, even Netflix. You can eat all the burgers you want, but you tire out of them too. You cook for a couple of days out of enthusiasm, but then you give it up because doing something cool everyday just takes the coolness quotient out of it. You even decided to try your hand at a new relationship, but lets face it – after you know a person too well, they become boring for you.
What explains this mass boredom of my generation? My parents were 25 once too, I am sure, but all they talk about back then was babies and responsibilities. The early fruition of so many problems never made people of my parent’s generation sit down and think about life-changing thoughts like what I am writing about right now. Hell yeah, I am sure my mother must have been concerned more about giving birth to me right now than having a boredom-related crisis.
It’s not easy living alone in a city, going to work and coming back to an empty house, living the same moronic life, every single day. Shopping occasionally brings some happiness, some men (don’t want to stereotype), idle their time away by waiting for the iPhone X to release. The point is – boredom is everywhere. How does one deal with it?
A colleague of mine once posed a question to me – if we have lived our life till now happily, but the existence ahead seems boring, long and dreadful, then why live it? What’s the point of living another 50 years in monotony?
Her question was tempting at that point of time, the answer even more tempting. But I am used to living life now, how do I end it? Plus religion and moral values come into play. Till 3 years ago, I used to tire myself by thinking about having a boyfriend. Now, that’s done too. What more? Not marriage, that’s boring too. Not alcohol, had enough of it already. Smoking? Isn’t the air of Delhi enough?
I understand that I am a privileged young woman posing existential crisis questions about 25 year olds working at MnCs who have nothing else to do with their life but complain. But, think of it. Aren’t we slowly becoming that western society whose individualism we despise as Indians? Economic independence has made everyone distant and by living alone, we do become self-centered to a certain level. The urban society of India is no different than a lonely life in New York City or London. How long before you Brooklyn bridge tires you out and London Bridge loses its sheen? I have lived in London, and started picking faults in the city the moment the weather turned bleak there. Now, I want to go back and live there someday, but the thought of living completely alone scares me.
I know I should be used to this boring, lonely life, but somehow I feel there’s a certain colour in it too. Think about it. You have the freedom and the choice to do whatever the fuck you want to. You can get up at 1 pm on weekends, give zero fucks about doing your laundry, go without shaving for a month and not be told off. I think its just a matter of perspective. Whenever I feel bored, I tell myself a very simple thing nowadays – will this day come back again? Maybe it won’t, so I might as well make the best of it. I am bored, but at least this boredom got me to think about something. Tomorrow, life might pass by in a flash without me even knowing it, and I won’t even get time to breathe. So till then, amigos, breathe free, for you never know – you might miss this existential crisis someday.
P.S – I honestly feel everybody who crosses their 20’s should be given a prize. Like, seriously.