Have you ever been in love?

A question that boggled my mind when I was a young teenager was – what is love? Will I ever be in love? Is love what they show in movies? Does it have a happy ending or do people die in the end?

The world is so obsessed with this emotion, it’s crazy to see the number of romance novels people read and the number of “romantic” movies that release every year. I mean, every girl wants a Prince Charming. Every man wants a caring girl friend.

But today, love is dangerous word. Realism is finally creeping in, no one believes in love, at the end of the day, it’s all about sex. Gay and lesbian love shown in movies is mostly tragic – dealing more with the emotional trauma of the human being rather than the wonderful emotion of love that they experience.

I am scared that one day I will too fall prey to either this realism, or this fantasism. I am scared that I might end up in a relationship that is just about physical intimacy, or I might end up becoming those women whose heart got broken because their man did not get off a white horse or jump out of a moving car to kiss them.

Can we be real about love? What is it anyways? Is it just a stupid, over hyped emotion that plays around with your brain?

I met someone recently who made me realize what love really is. No, it is not my mother, not my father, nor my boy friend. It is someone with a different name – it’s a Friend. My love for my parents is more about care than love (but we will discuss that someday later, let’s leave that for now).

Yes, yes, there is the classic notion of friends becoming lovers, but no, what I experienced through this friend was something completely different. Love isn’t an emotion, it’s a feeling. A feeling you get when you share something, a feeling you get when you get emotionally dependent on someone, but not so much so that you lose your identity.

Love isn’t about you or me, it’s about us, and the things we can do for ‘us’ to be happy. I know I am sounding right now like a girl who walked out of a Celine Dion concert, but what I have understood from love hasn’t made me cry or overtly happy – it’s just made me smile.

For a lot of women nowadays, love entails a dangerous territory – women by virtue are “considered” emotional, and yes, women are ready to give up everything for the person they love. Nowadays, this new wave of feminism has instilled the belief amongst women that maybe love is not the right path to take if one wants to follow their career (A lot of women don’t believe in this theory, but the way things are being interpreted, a lot of women are being ‘led’ to believe this thing, giving up in frustration over finding their “perfect” match).

It’s a similar situation for men. Many men believe that women are mostly using men as an emotional tool to vent all their life’s frustration and articles flying on the internet like, “10 most annoying things girlfriends do”, is not helping the situation much, either.

If a career is important, so is self- confidence. Confidence that one can achieve anything, anywhere. It’s not about the location, it’s about the location where “I” can become “we”. Don’t look for the “I” on the map, look for the “we”. And the “We” is right there, we all tend to lose our way. But we can still ask for directions.

I am not trying to propagate a “perfect” relationship anecdote. What I am trying to state is that what we consider “love” is just an emotion that completes you. It’s an emotion that kills selfishness and jealousy and makes one happy about everything. Anger disappears, life becomes a cherished moment worth living.

I may sound idealistic, but for once, just wake up one morning, thank God (or yourself or your parents) for everything you have, and put a smile on your face. Walk as if you love every step you take, take all of life’s challenges with a happy heart and a rejuvenated soul. Treat problems like an irritating friend who needs to be explained how problems need to be solved.

For all this, you don’t need a “special” person in your life. For me, it’s just chance that I chanced upon such a person who made me realize that there is more to life than just constant bickering about problems and hankering about small things like 3-4 pounds or dollars over a piece of cake. Life is just about being the confident person you are, and living life on your own terms without having any regrets. All of us are free people – it’s our constant concern with concern that binds us. There are no shackles to break, all we need is an attitude change. And then the world will be a lovelier place. And we will understand the meaning of true love. I am in love already, are you?

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